So, I’m feeling pretty emotional today in the best way possible. I woke up today without a headache (well, 0.5/10 pain which is basically nothing), and I can’t believe this is my life. Until surgery, I have never, not once, had a day this low in pain for 9 years. I think of all the support I’ve gotten, and I know there is no way I would be healing this well and feeling this good without some people putting their lives on hold to help us out.
My parents, Bruce and Ruth have been a god send. They arrived to Houston a few days before my surgery with a one-way ticket and an expectation that they were going to be here for months. And they were. Its hard for me to let go of control of my kids and my home, but after surgery they took over and did everything. They loved and entertained the kids, took care of the house, and brought me food in bed. They alleviated any stress for Shaun and allowed him to continue going to work as usual. It was an adjustment for me of course, but they figured everything out and my kids didn’t even care that their mom had disappeared for several days. Then they flew with me and the kids to Saskatoon for a month in September for a change of scenery before Shaun arrived. Again, they took care of everything. They also are coming back in December for another “shift” and for Christmas. I think they want this surgery to work more than I do.
Shaun’s parents, Gary and Cheryl have been absolutely incredible and I am so grateful for them every day. They dropped everything this summer and flew with us to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota so that Shaun and I could go to appointments without having to worry about the kids. In the fall Cheryl flew back to Houston with us after our time in Canada, and then Gary following a couple weeks later after Harvest was done. They continued the care my parents had given us, and took over everything so I didn’t have to lift or do anything physical, and so I could rest. The kids were so excited to have Nana and Papa there for so long, and my floors have never been cleaner. I am so thankful that I have in-laws who make me feel so comfortable, and I never feel like I have to host. That was especially true this visit when they were caring for me and my family in my own home.
Shaun. What would I have done in this life without you? I can’t even begin to thank you for always being there for me. You were with me when this started and have talked me through every bad migraine. You have not once made me feel any sort of guilt or that I was a burden. You have bent over backwards to make life easier for me and pushed me to do anything I needed to in order to feel better. You never complain and you always remind me of the good in our life when I am struggling to find it. You are just the most incredible human in the world and I can’t imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t holding my hand through it.
Kinley and Emmett, thank you for the hugs and the cuddles when I need them. Thank you for loving your mom fiercely even when she yells at you when you don’t deserve it. Thank you for being such good sleepers and for getting along so well. Kinley has the softest heart and always whispers quietly that she is going to give me “medicine kisses” to make the owie on my head go away.
Thank you to all my great friends who have stayed great friends over the years even though my energy and motivation to text and stay in touch has been embarrassing. Thanks for accepting all my last minute cancellations on plans and not making me feel worse than I already do. To all the friendships I have developed since my migraines started in 2010, I hope one day you will see who I really am under that forced smile and we can build a deeper connection.
I am thankful for my home situation where I can stay at home with the kids and not have the stress of needing to work. I am thankful for my mental health as it is so uncommon for someone with such a high level of chronic pain to not experience anxiety or depression. I am thankful for my will to fight, even though many days I question it. I am thankful that we ended up in Houston and I somehow discovered one of the few surgeons in the world that studies and performs this surgery. Most of all I am thankful (again) for Shaun because he has always been by my side and has done everything in his power to help me get through each day.
Okay wow, I feel like I am accepting an Academy Award or something.
Thank YOU for being here and reading my rambling.
xx
